Scenes from San Francisco

So, walking into work this morning, I said to myself, "What's a handsome guy like me doing in a place like this?"

I pondered the question for about 20-minutes between meeting with the various suits I work with trying to pull-off some super-sweet business deal and my daily pilgrimage to Starbucks. Usually caffeine is a requirement before these meetings (you always need enough artificial "energy" to shout over the office loud mouth), however running late required me to go in dry. As a result of not having my caffeine fix, the subsequent meeting battered my brain around, damaging that region that manages "reason" with "fear of rejection." After the meeting was over I thought I would take my new set of imaginary cajones to hit on some women.

Eventually I found myself in the Red-Room (the bar in the Clift Hotel), staring at Claudia Schiffer with a few of her model friends. Without hesitation, I swept right up next to her.

"Hi, how are you? Would you like to partake in a cocktail and....?"

"I don't know, do you know any magic tricks?"

I walked home kicking every homeless guy's cart I saw.