List of Things I Never Want to Hear Repeated Against

Coming in at #4, Gerard Vanderleun illustrates a hypothetical scenario where Air America and The O'Reilly Factor join forces:

They could put everyone on one gigantic sound stage with adequate drainage, lay down a lot of plastic tarps, and wheel on some trays with about 1,500 cream pies. Bill and Al could suit up in fright wigs and penis gourds and just let it rip.

I just hope someone would have the decency to shave them down beforehand.