Guitar 101

So, looking at the "theme" of this site, you probably can guess that I like the guitar. The quantity (or quality) of the content related to guitar stuff on this site belies this fact, but take my word for it, my axe is really just an extension of my....

...self.

Get your bloody mind out of the gutter.

Anyway, one aspect that I think is very important in developing as a player is understanding your music's history. Learn about those who came before you and paved the road to where music is at today. Classical, or traditional musicians don't have a problem with this, as there is no way to understand what is being composed today unless you understand the extensive history and theories that preceded you.

Rock 'n Roll is a little different. These are the guys (gender neutral for today's 21st century culture of course) that told everyone to go to hell, we're going to turn it up, sing about doing whatever we want, sleeping with whomever we want and partake in any chemicals needed. The accidental goal was to give the world the collective finger.

I'm sure the world deserved it, but Rock 'n Roll was a bit blustery and myopic by not realizing that someday they too would have a history to answer to. Before I go and get all serious, thus breaking the immortal spirit of Rock 'n Roll that I'll quote from one of the Holy Books of Guitar, or Holy Movies, Spinal Tap:

"What wuold you do if there was no Rock n' Roll?"

"Well, there's still the sex and drugs, right?"

At it's core, at the end of the day, Rock 'n Roll isn't serious. It's supposed to be fun, but undeniably it does have a history. It has produced music that changed culture forever and there were very influential people responsible for it. Some of these people were good, some bad, some deaf, some child molesters, some overdosed....well, a lot overdosed, some genius, some so stuck on themselves they should have renamed themselves "The Artist I Formerly Cared About."

Back on point. The era I learned guitar in (late 80's, early 90's), Steve Vai was the pinnicle of guitar playing. I listened to Passion and Warfare and said, "Ok, how in the hell...am I going to learn that?" So I read every interview, and learned that Steve Vai was a young guy one day that listened to people and eventually got to where he was by copying and learning from those who rocked his world growing up.

Then, in 1991, I picked a magazine off the shelf that would change my musical life forever. It was the first, special edition Guitar Legends magazine that was solely dedicated to one guitar player. That player was Eddie Van Halen. The picture on the cover was of Eddie doing a flying leap with his black, white and black Frankenstein, smiling ear to ear. I thought there is no way that anyone could possibly be cooler.

The content inside convinced me that there was no way in my life I would ever put this instrument down again. Cover to cover was Ed sharing about how fun and mindblowing it could be to play the guitar. In his world, there was nothing that couldn't be done when you played. He spoke extensively about the guys that he learned from growing up, but his main guy was Eric Clapton. For 10 hours a day he learned every note that Eric Clapton ever played. He reminisced about of his brother, Alex, leaving to go to parties while he would stay at home and play guitar. Alex would come home and Eddie would be at the edge of his bed, playing away in the same spot that Alex had left him.

Passion has no equal to Edward.

For the next few years, as Clapton was to Van Halen, Van Halen was to me. I sat at home and learned every note that man played. Dave or Sammy made absolutely no difference to me, as long as Eddie had his hands around the neck, Uncle Freddie who lives under the sink could be singing.

With this in mind, it should be understandable that my emotions hit Andrew Sullivan levels when people disrespect someone that turned playing the guitar on its ear for me. I'm completely beyond reason on this subject.

So, dammit, you can imagine how "gobsmackingly vile" my mood turned when I picked up this month's issue of Guitar One. Might I add, this is a magazine that Eddie Van Halen was on the cover of no less that 4,926 times since 1977. He probably single handedly put the editors' kids through college. Here was the article that has me breathing fire:

Top Ten Guitarists Who Need to Retire

10. Dave Navarro
9. Eric Clapton
8. Mike Mushok
7. Carlos Santana
6. Keith Richards
5. Ted Nugent
4. Dick Dale
3. Dickey Betts
2. Jimmy Page
1. Edward Van Halen

This is what they specifically said about the maestro:

It's been 20 years since Eddie's done anything worthwhile on guitar. Twenty years. Anyone that ineffective at any other job would have been fired 19 years and 10 months ago.

Ouuu, how edgy. This coming from an magazine that now provides transcriptions to "teach" you how to "play" Green Day songs. If you have to read a magazine to "show" you how to "play" Green Day, you should break all your fingers off, shove your knubs into your own eyes and beg for mercy from the guitar gods

Sorry for channeling Lewis Black there.

But, that still doesn't change the fact that when I was in high school, my mom knocked my guitar over and a Green Day song came out.

Non-sequitars make me less gob-smacked.

How does a magazine that purports to provide ways for people to better themselves at playing the guitar, put together a list that collectively spits on the history of the very music it supposidly supports?

Who the devil are these people to think that, on one piece of paper, they can get away with denegrating Eric Clapton, Carlos Santana, Jimmy Page and Eddie Van Halen? I have it on good authority (my own brain) that those communists that were responsible for printing this total catastrophe, went out and pissed on Jimi Hendrix's grave afterwards. All for the cause of "being cool" and "fresh," which evidently means taking all the fun out of the great history of rock music.

This ends my fire-breathing for now. I did say that Rock n Roll is supposed to be fun, right? Sad that the tragically hip people at Guitar One find it necessary to turn Rock 'n Roll into a elitist, circle-jerk.

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* Note, I promise to provide the IP address for any Google referrers I get to this site with keywords "circle-jerk" and "Andrew Sullivan."

Posted by 10 fingers 6 strings at December 7, 2005 09:11 PM | TrackBack