Tyson School of Management

Can someone tell me why this man is still the manager of the Toronto Blue Jays? He's thrown down with not one, but now, two of his own players this year. Word has it that John Gibbons attended the Mike Tyson School of Management in the off-season.

Rule #1. from the Tyson School of Management: if talking doesn't work, threaten to damange his family jewels:

"I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain."

Rule #2. from the Tyson School of Management: if Rule #1 doesn't work, threaten his family:

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

Rule #3. from the Tyson School of Management: if Rule #1 and #2 doen't work, puff up your chest and say something really, uh, confusing:

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel ihs muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

Remember, mutter to yourself as you engage these simple rules, "Win their hearts and minds."