Self-Importance Post #1

Twenty-three months and counting without any Instapundit links, or, for that matter, any links from anyone standing on top of the sphere that contains blogs.

Has anyone gone longer without getting hit by the man who has more spawn than a welfare recipient that has a jackhammer for a boyfriend?

Has anyone else been able to sustain themselves for as long as I have on such meager allotments of redistributed love? No food for me, thank you! Others are dependant on the teet that is traffic and relevance, while I toil and spin purely from strength from within (and Kyle who built and runs this site).

Ok, you mou might think that I use Kyle as a crutch, and that might be true, but I will climb Mount Everest with my crutch and I hope my crutch's wife allows him to take a few months off for the expedition, because you can't exactly climb that thing in a weekend. As a matter of fact, there are stories of people actually dying up there, so I think he'd better think about it more carefully than a whimsical, thoughtless reaction to go thrill-seeking with the world's foremost irrelevant blogger.

You think my self-importance is bad now? Ha! Wait till I've been up to 29,000 ft and made it back with my nose, limbs, and appendages still attached.

If, perhaps, I do end up losing a toe, I'd be an even more impressive force. Do you know of any bloggers currently writing with 9 toes? Do you know of any other blogger currently writing with 9 toes because of accidental frostbite on the world's tallest mountain?

Please send money now. I can build a new, bionic toe now in anticipation of losing it later. It will be molded just like the soon-to-be missing one--except without the hairy knuckles. I don't want to have a Hobbit starter kit. Plus, with your donations, you can send me to Europe with all ten toes for one last time. I have some friends that I want to visit and I'd like to treat them to some "escorts" in Prague. The dollar doesn't exactly buy what it used to there.

Thank you, and continue missing me until my next post.