You Need a Leader

Did you miss me?

As I told you on Friday, I was in San Diego this weekend. My skin now reflects a perfect bronze hue, which enabled me to fend off eight knife-wielding ninjas while scoring a few phone numbers at the reception. There might have been six, or nine, or ten ninjas--I'm not quite sure, as those wiley misanthropes tend to attack in such a manner that disguises their true headcount.

All this is all completely true, but for the knife-wielding ninjas.

While I was relaxing in the sun, I had some thoughts driven by the initial success "Self-Absorbtion" week has brought. Admittedly, it did start as a joke, however, it ended up opening my eyes to the many issues, problems and potential solutions that we, the people who write on blogs, currently face. Since it is still self-absorption week, I have come up with some solutions that focus on how my staff on I can leverage my wit, intellect, organizational ability and overall talent to better this world which shall never be called "blogosphere" ever again (at least by this blog, or anyone else that has an appreciation for anything aesthetic).

One of the general definitions of entropy is the inevitable and steady deterioration of a system. While blogs have addded a generally positive dynamic to the world of discourse and dialog, it still a victim to this law. Beating a dead horse is a severe tendancy among most bloggers who have all been raised in the "awareness" culture. Ideas are not things to be embraced through comprehension of a reasoned, coherant argument; ideas are data that is pumped out at you in volume--both in amplitude and in quantity.

In accordance with this law, if you are one of these numerous bloggers who likes to beat a dead horse, your blog is a deteriment to the medium as a whole. You are, quite frankly, making the encompass where blogs reside a less attractive place for the rest of the world to visit. It's like Taco Bell: a Special Night of All-You-Can-Eat: many people come in out of curiosity, but most are running for the doors in mass after a brief participation, and the only ones left are not the people that you'd want to take to prom. This inevitable mass exodus will cause the system to be exothermic.

It isn't entirely your fault, however. While I'm usually not one to give into the shirking of personal responsibilities, the pragmatist in me wants to address the root causes of the situation. I understand more than anyone that the overall quality of output in blogs is definitely not a function of effort. Many folks spend hours upon hours to gain the double digit readership so desired, even if your blog is called Uncle Willy's Spot - Ramblings About Hedgeclipping with Your Lawnmower. Your efforts should not be in vain.

What is lacking, my friends, is strategic vision. Harnessing the indefatigablility of you folks needs someone who is looking at the broader picture, someone who can strategically place particular blogs into a context where the whole is served better. Someone who is also fearless, courageous, and of one-mind with the pure spirit of all things blog.

I'd like to ask you, my readers, to nominate me, your humble servant, as President of the Cylindrically Shaped Illustration Containing the Medium of Blogs. The universe of blogs needs to observed as endothermic, instead of exothermic.

Objections? Yes, I was getting to that.

Your reluctance to voluntarily hand your sphere over to another person is understanable, and I'll be the first to point out that not just anyone is suited for this job. If the consortium of blogs have proved anything, it's that almost no one is suited to run it. Glenn Reynolds has done a wonderful job in raising a toddler, but his laisser faire method has created a rather unruly teenager.

I would be the benevolent leader you need to bring order. My benevolence is a natural result of my intense and undying love for those who are writing yourselves down the toilet one post at a time. I love you too much to see you go the way of the Lucky the Goldfish after you wiped his tank clean with dishsoap.

Give it a think, and with the deepest reservations and humility, I would accept your willing nomination as President of Blogs.